On-boarding for (new) believers 2

In the last article, Onboarding for (new) believers , I shared the first summary of Spiritual Exercise. Explaining the noteworthy topics for Christian believers to be aware of and ultimately shine light on Christ through the believer. Well, this article will be the 2nd part of that 3 part summary. Shall we begin?

Book 3: Assembling Together

The Lord’s Day

Acts 4:10-11 & Psalm 118:22-24 emphasise the stone the builders rejected becoming the Chief Cornerstone. Ultimately, in focusing on the book of Psalms, we see how the day the Lord made is the same one on which the stone rejected becomes the Chief Cornerstone.

3 important things to do on this day: Rejoice, assemble to break bread, and give.

Hymn Singing

What better way to express our appreciation and gratitude to God, than singing. Did you know? The longer a person has been a Christian and has learned God, the more tender his feelings become in worship. And vice versa in the case of one who has had few dealings with God. It’s very important that it flows from within.

There are 3 requirements every hymn must possess:

How true is it based on Scriptures?
Is it in a poetical form and structure?
Does it touch your spirit aka impact your emotions?

Praise

A sacrifice. Sound of victory. Frankly, your feelings or the current state of your environment shouldn’t determine if you praise God – Acts 16:25-26. When you can’t pray, praise because it involves faith and glorifies God – Psalm 50:23.

Breaking of bread

In 1 Cor. 11, you and I will come to understand the significance of Communion as these:

Firstly, it’s done in remembrance of Christ’s sacrifice for you; dissociating you from the world, enlarges your heart towards other believers. Secondly, it proclaims Christ’s death on the Cross for us.

On the other hand, 1 Cor. 10 lists 2 significance: We find communion with other believers, and we as a church are one.

Since God gave us the instruction to do this in remembrance of Him, everyone who is a believer is welcome to the Lord’s table so far they believe in Jesus, and they partake in a worthy manner. 1 Cor.11:27-29

Book 4: Not I but Christ

If any man sin

1 John 1:7-9. Although we don’t encourage the believer to commit sin, should you find yourself in sin, confess it to God. You must not linger in the shame of sin because God has already forgiven you.

What if you don’t confess your sin? You’re still God’s child. However, there’s a weakness in your consciousness; your fellowship with God is not as it previously was.

Apology & Restitution

Acts 24:16. When was the last time you apologised? As a believer, you should have a sensitive conscience that recognises when you have offended or hurt someone else. While you ask God for forgiveness, make it a point of duty to make it right with whom you’ve hurt.

When the Holy Spirit recalls certain incidents or thoughts, deal with it and don’t push it aside. Matthew 5:23-26

How to apologise and make restitution:

Scope – if you sin against 1, confess to 1. If to all, confess to all. Don’t be excessive.
Unrighteous to incriminate others – If 2 people sin together, whoever apologises or makes restitution shouldn’t incriminate the other person. It’s violating a trust.
Sins not to be confessed – Don’t confess to appease your own conscience if the person who hears your confession will lose peace as a result. Don’t gain your own peace at the expense of another’s peace.
Consult the Elders – They will instruct you on what things should and shouldn’t be confessed.
Letters of Restitution – In the event that you’re not able to pay/reimburse, write on when you can pay and apologise.
Conscience cleansed – Don’t fall under excessive accusations due to making apologies. The blood of Jesus has already cleansed you. You’re just making it right with your fellow human beings.

Restore your brother

Galatians 6:1. What should you do if someone sins against you? Matthew 18:15-35; forgiveness & persuasion.

Forgive boundlessly. Even if the fellow mentions that he’s repented, we don’t concern ourselves with if his repentance is true or false, we forgive still. Generously, with what grace we’ve been forgiven by God, we forgive others. It’s extremely ugly for a forgiven person to be unforgiving.

Persuasion:

Tell him.
- Since it’s between 2 people, speak to that person alone. Not behind their back or in public. It requires the grace of God because you have to show him his fault. Why? To gain your brother or sister (Matt 18:15).
Take 1 or 2 more people.
- If your brother will not hear you out, take people who will prayerfully discern and judge the matter.
Tell the Church.

Rule: Try to resolve the problem personally; otherwise, seek a way to purity. If it’s minor, forgive and forget. However, if it affects fellowship, deal with it. Ask the Elders of the Church for advice privately. Also, the brother should give his ear to the Church and lay aside their feelings & confidence in themselves.

The Believer’s reaction

Matthew 5:48. The way a believer reacts should be different from others. Why? God has given us commands as to how to react since we no longer live for ourselves but Christ. Matthew 5:38-48 detail the reaction the believer should have. Transcendence – Rise above the demands of man. Beyond doing the good or right thing, walk in such a way that reflects the life of Christ.

Deliverance

Romans 8:2. Not all new believers are delivered from sin after they trust in the Lord. Consequently, they are unable to serve God as they’d like. We are to be delivered from sin’s grip since the Lord has removed us from it. You find the law of sin detailed in Romans 7:15-25. Victory isn’t found through man’s will since sin is a law. Actually, Apst. Paul first discovered that sin is a law. Hence, the inability of a man’s will to overcome the law.

A man doesn’t commit sin purposely, but the power in his body pulls him to sin. As such, considering this to be a matter of conduct (do this or that) is futile. Using your willpower, you’re unable to trust God’s way of deliverance. However, we see the way of victory in Romans 8:1. The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus makes you free from the law of sin. Essentially, rely on the Holy Spirit.

Our life

Galatians 2:20. That Christ lives in you is a fact, not a goal to reach, nor standard to attain. 2 Corinthians 5: 15 -16 emphasizes this. If you try to live before God in your own power, you wouldn’t be able to bear the burden. Subsequently, you’ll get weary and frustrated. It’s not you imitating or striving to be like Christ. Instead, it’s you letting Christ live in you. That’s the Christian life. How do you let Christ live in you?

Romans 6:6. Be crucified with Christ; acknowledge that when Christ died, you also died. The victorious life is no longer about your efforts but Christ’s action in you.

The will of God

Psalm 40:8. For a believer, the way to joy and peace is to follow God’s will. God wants us to know his will, how?

Environmental arrangement – all things happening in our environments are expressions of God’s will. Nothing is accidental.
Guidance of the Holy Spirit – Romans 8:14 Once you believe in Jesus, the Holy Spirit dwells within you. As a result, the witness is in you. Although not a feeling nor voice, it is like a feeling and voice. When you follow this leading, you have the sense of being right. However, should you rebel or resist, you’ll feel upset and uncomfortable.
Scriptural teaching – The Bible contains God’s will. Although generations have passed, God’s will remains the same. It’s noteworthy that God’s will is one. What God previously accepted in Scripture is what He still accepts and vice versa.

All three of these must be in agreement for us to be clear on God’s will. Finally, the principle of the Church – God will speak through His body, the Church as well. Don’t learn God’s will and not do it. Instead, seek to know God’s will and ask for a heart to do it. John 7:17

Book 5: Do All to the Glory of God

Managing your finances

Luke 6:38. God is the ultimate provider. Give and it will be given to you; Christians should measure income by giving. If your giving is calculating and exacting, when God moves people to supply your need, it’ll be strictly measured/calculated. Don’t hold money tightly in hand.

The Christian way of managing finances is this:

Sowing for God (When you sow bountifully, you shall reap bountifully and vice versa),
Bringing to God (Pay your tithe, Malachi 3:10),
Scattering for God (Proverbs 11:24),
Spending for God (1 Kings 18, give to God sacrificially),
Supplied from God (Philippians 4:19, exhibited here is God supplying to the Philippian givers. God supplies on the principle of giving).

The Christian way is in giving. The tighter one holds on to money, the poorer he becomes. Give yourself to God, and then release your money that God may give to you.

Occupation

2 Thessalonians 3:10b. There are 3 major considerations for an occupation:

Draw resources from nature for the increase of wealth – I gain, and nobody loses. Doesn’t cause anyone to suffer hunger or loss.
Manufacturing, the increase of value.
A labourer’s wages – expending time and exerting strength to receive commensurate wages.

If given a choice, choose that which will increase wealth or value. It’s not hard for believers to become rich. Why? We’re honest, diligent, and do not waste money on smoking, drinking, and luxurious living. Summarily, work to earn your money.

Marriage

Ecclesiastes 4:9. Sex consciousness is not sinful because God introduced it in Genesis 2, before sin entered the world. Sex is both holy and natural. Here are 3 basic reasons for marriage:

Mutual help
- Marriage is instituted by God long before the fall of man. Eve was created by God as a help meet, meaning meet ‘suitable’ to help. She must first answer/correspond to Adam before she can be of help to him.
For prevention of fornication
- In 1 Corinthians 7, Apostle Paul doesn’t condemn sex consciousness as sin. Instead, he suggests that marriage can prevent the sin of fornication.
For receiving Grace together
- 1 Peter 3:7 God desires that both husband and wife serve Him together. We see the example of Aquila and Priscilla.

Christians can only marry amongst Christians. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, although not speaking exclusively to marriage, Paul says, “Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

Choosing a Mate

2 Cor.6:14. In choosing a mate, learn to remain calm and objective. Here are things to consider:

Natural attraction
- You must love to be with the person and enjoy his/her company constantly, and in the long term. Don’t get married if you don’t enjoy each other’s company.
Health
- Both the man and woman should be healthy.
Heredity
- Since marriage is considered from a long-term perspective, the health of the ancestors and the potential spouse must be considered.
Family background
- Consider the moral standard of the other person’s family. Are they of noble ideas? How strict a standard do they maintain? Attitude of the men toward the women and vice versa? The family’s ways will find its way into the new home. Look out for these things, as they impact the success of your marriage.
Age
- Physical: Women mature faster than men (5 years ahead), but also age faster (10 years earlier). The man can be 5,6,7, or 8 years older than the woman.
- Mental: It’s possible that one can be old in body, but young in mind. A brother whose mind matures earlier can marry a somewhat older sister whose mind is still young. Everyone can decide for themselves which works for them.
Temperament, Interest, and Goal
- Both man and woman should have natures and interests that are in proximity. You can’t change someone else’s temperament; it takes a lot of time for the Holy Spirit to change someone’s character. Be observant; who the person is before marriage is who they’ll be after marriage.
Weaknesses
- Before marriage, find out the weaknesses of your proposed partner. It’s not advisable to do so after marriage. Don’t be so blinded by physical attraction or eager for marriage that you fail to notice the weaknesses.
Character
- Both should have mutual respect for each other’s character.
Consecration
- There should be oneness of spiritual purpose in addition to the physical attraction and complementary nature. Have the desire to serve God, fully committed to the Lord, and live for God.
  - Christ is the head of the home. If both husband and wife desire to do God’s will, every argument can be settled on that basis.

Husband and Wife

Colossians 3:18-19. Before being either, you must be properly prepared.

Close your eyes
- When 2 people live together as husband and wife, they have enough time to find out each other’s weaknesses. Remember, your spouse isn’t your student, waiting for you to help and correct them. You have to open your eyes in order to understand before you’re married. Afterwards, close your eyes to the difficulties and weaknesses; there’s enough to see without looking.
Learn to accommodate
- Go halfway: Best if it’s mutual; both parties should meet each other halfway. A lot of problems will be solved if you leave your position and go over all the way. Technically, learn to make adjustments in all things. Learn to deny yourself: Accommodate oneself to others aka self-denial.
Be Appreciative and Sensitive
- Notice the other’s strengths: Learn to see the strengths, virtues, and beauty of the other person. Make your appreciation known – Your appreciation of your spouse should not be less than other’s. To have a happy family, mutual appreciation is essential. Whenever opportunity presents, confess publicly what you have observed and felt.
Be Courteous
- A person is least gracious when he is at home. Courtesy beautifies human contact. It’s like the lubricant put in machinery. Without courtesy, there will be friction and unpleasant feelings.
Let Love grow
- To survive, love needs to be constantly fed by accommodation, sacrifice, self-denial, understanding, sympathy, and forgiveness.
Be unselfish
- Seek to please your spouse: 1 Cor.7:33-34, live like a married person
Permit freedom, privacy, and private possessions
- Each spouse should have his or her own time, money, and things. Learn to respect each individual’s privilege of some privacy.
Learn to solve problems
- Firstly, understand where the problem is, and try to solve it. Talk things over with each other first. Let your partner finish speaking before you speak. The talkative one shouldn’t monopolise the conversation. Discuss the conflict objectively, as the intent is to find out what is right. After talking, pray to understand where the trouble lies. The couple should confess their faults to each other and forgive. What if your partner is at fault? Forgive and forget 1Cor.13:5
Live together before God
- Have a time to pray and fellowship together. Don’t try to save face before God.

Parenthood

Ephesians 6:4. It’s not easy to be a parent, as parents influence the happiness of the next generation. Here’s how to prepare yourself for Parenthood:

You should sanctify yourself
- Though you’re free to do many things, for your child’s sake, you do not. Your children are watching and will remember.
Develop a sense of stewardship over your children
- Your child belongs to God, and you’re but a steward. Bringing up your child in the Lord is your responsibility. The Church can’t be strong if this sense of stewardship is missing.
Do not have a double standard
- Develop your walk with God. That way, your children can also walk with God. It’s not do as I say, but do as I do.

Parents should be of one mind – It’s hard for a child to follow a definite moral standard if both parents don’t agree. This will turn the child to choose the more lenient parent, further enlarging the gap between parents.

Also in parenting, do not provoke your children to wrath. Consider the following:

Use authority with restraint
- Don’t excessively use your authority to overpower your child. It could be financial, physical, etc. If you press to the extent the child waits for liberation day, he’ll throw off restraint and claim freedom.
Show appreciation to the children
- Appreciate your children when they do well. If you don’t, they’ll be discouraged and disheartened.

Nurture your children in the Chastening & Admonition of the Lord.

You can instruct them on how they should behave. Expect your child to become a Christian, and treat them as such.

Channel Children’s ambition
- Whatever your world is, that will be your children’s ambition. Be a lover of Christ. That way, you can instill the understanding that suffering for Christ is noble and to be a martyr is glorious. Emphatically, turning their ambition to that which is noble and glorious.
Do not encourage children’s pride
- Children like to boast of their intellect and talent. Don’t encourage their vanity, but don’t let him lose his self-respect. Show him where he has overestimated himself.
Teach children how to choose
- Give children the opportunity to make choices when they’re still young. Let them express what they like or dislike. Show them whether what they like is the right thing or not.

Lead your children to the Lord

Have an effective family altar; United family prayer and reading the Bible together.

Have family worship on the children’s level
- Never force your spiritual level on the family gathering. Whatever you do must consider the children’s level and be best suited to their taste.
Lead the Children to Repentance
- Show your children what sin is and notice if they’re repentant. Ultimately, when the time is ripe, help them to accept the Lord in a definite way. Take them to church to have a part in the life of the Church.

Discipline your children wisely – Use the rod when necessary: Proverbs 13:24. Chasten justly: never spank your child because you have lost your temper or when you’re out of sorts. Show the children their fault: Each time you chasten a child, show him wherein he was wrong.

While reading the book, I had a long laugh with some of these concepts because I haven’t seen them written like that. Well, I believe you’ve added knowledge to your Christian experience. Please remember to read this continuously and pray until your heart is persuaded. See you at the final part of this summary.

Also, kindly share your thoughts in the comments as I look forward to reading them.

Thank you for reading – Funmi